What am I Doing Now?

I guess this is the place I can share things with. Not many people will read my post, and I take this blog as my personal diary to share with people who don't need to care about me.

Next week, I ll start my 3rd year of working on the ship. A lot of people thinks that I have a perfect job. Get to work my hobby out, free traveling, short working hours, no stress. At first, I thought so too. When I came back for vacation, I had some replacement gigs and function (jus to cover a lil of my non-paid-vacation back home), I felt so lazy getting out from the house, stuck in the jam for hours, carrying a 13kg keyboard (+7kgs of the case), getting paid lower than I usually do. I was like "maybe I should just stay home for these 2 months", though, I din really stop gigging when I had the chance to. But slowly, I get use to working on land, in fact I start to enjoy it. Fortunately, I get to work with some talented musicians, playing very different type of repertoire each gig. I start to remember when I first started gigging.

Of course, I don't remember anymore when I start my first gig with whom n all the DeTAILs, but I remember I ve spent days of practice on my own, n hours of practice with the band, just for 1 regular replacement gig. It was tiring, n time consuming, but, that was when I can feel that I improved and I ve learn. I never meant that I don't practice or learn anymore, it's just that I don't have that motivation anymore. It's too 'cozy' working in the ship that I almost forgot that I NeEd to practice.

Watching my musicians friend around, I feel that I m the most terrible pianist. Why? Imagine repeating 200 songs for 2 years compared to 30 songs each gig, and at least 3 gigs per week. Not to mention people who teach too. If only I never start working in the ship, will I be one of them too? Always thinking that my band is good enough to survive, just comparing to people in that vessel, but 1 time, I went to a small cafe, this acoustic duo was performing simple song with their amazing voices while playing with their respective instruments, I feel like I am some lil girl who just came out from her small small world. I am really doubting that if I should continue working in the ship. I think I've sounded too pessimistic. Working in the ship have a lot of advantages too. Just that I don't feel like mentioning I this particular post, because that's not the point.

Anyway, just as I start to get use to gigging on land, I have to start my 3rd contract. With the extra time I have there, I ll think about this matter seriously. Of course, I wouldn't write this post if I ll be with my Teddy on this coming contract. If only he will be there, I ll enjoy my contract like honeymoon... Who cares who needs to practice!